Tuesday, November 6, 2012

No Longer Waiting But Living....

It is true that I am no longer waiting but living. To whatever made that shift possible I owe a debt of gratitude. Things smell sweeter, taste better, are far more beautiful than they were during the days I was torturing myself for not "succeeding" quickly enough. Not "achieving" at a high enough level.

I hold my children in my arms (as much of them as will still fit in my embrace)...I smell their hair and I listen to the beating of their hearts. I know perfection. Stillness. I understand being in the right place at the right time as so much simpler than I could have imagined: It is being here. It is now. That is all.

I allow a tiny jubilation to rise in my ribcage, and though I cannot be sure, I think it's simply happiness for what I have achieved. For where I am right now. True, there is a ship on the horizon, but it is one of many. I will board one, my little family in tow, but for now I will enjoy the vibrant display of their sails against the sky. It's not hope I feel but rather, I think, contentment, which is a different animal all together.

For this, I am flooded with gratitude.

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